Never Smile Again
by Just-like-me
Summary: He dropped the letter, his voice catching, his tears flowing, realizing much too late the pain he had caused her...


This started out as a letter for a once-very good friend of mine, one whom I loved a lot. It ended up being, when I looked at it a second time, to have a great perspective on a Harry Potter story that involved changes in both Harry's and Hermione's futures, in their seventh year of Hogwarts. It is a story of great tragedy, life changes, and choices that haunt both characters in an epic way.

The part after the end of the letter I added in afterwards, kind of to let the reader see the aftermath.

Also: I don't own Harry Potter.

and one final WARNING: the content of this story is in every way angsty and quite dark. Read on if you think you can bear it.

Never Smile Again 

_Harry,_

_It's the end of everything. Well, maybe not life for all, but for me, it's time._

_I loved you in such a way, much deeper than any feeling I ever had. In a tragic sense, for some reason, I still do love you with that same all-consuming passion. Even after this betrayal and everything that's happened between us._

_It was a rainy day, remember? The first time you ever told me that I was so beautiful, you wanted nothing more than to keep me? The first time you took me into your arms and kissed me more tenderly than I'd ever known in a lifetime of a young girl's fantasies? The first time you talked me, slightly hesitant, into committing the one act of true love? Do you remember that day? I do._

_That was the day I got pregnant, because I was too enrapt in your spun visions of love and Happily Ever Afters. Then, not even a full week later, after I'd told you, you got scared. I was scared too, but I was willing to do whatever necessary to make it right. To make _you_ happy._

_And you just walked away, like there was nothing to it. All of those feelings you made me feel were real, they were all lies._

_As soon as the bad came, you were gone. At the time I needed someone more than ever, that someone being you, you were gone so fast, my head spun._

_Ronis dead, who else was I to confide in? Who else could possibly help me? My parents would never understand, and I doubt your aunt and uncle would either. So, _what's left_? What do I do _now

_The only thing I knew to do. And it goes against everything I've ever been taught. But I knew it would make you happy, so I did it, just for you. I killed our child, the one growing in my womb, the one that was supposed to be our creation of love. I had an abortion._

_I feel sick with myself, like I've done the most disgusting and vile thing one can imagine doing. And when I tell you, then what? You act as if you haven't heard, as if I've made up some horrible lie just to embarrass you._

_And you have the audacity to _smile_ at me when you see me. You actually look at me and smile, guilt-free, as if nothing ever happened._

_Well, this will make you see, you'll be faced with your truths and lies soon enough. You'll never smile again. You'll be very sorry for what you've done. You've broken me, and well, it's time to get my revenge._

_But, the only revenge I know will do any good is one of an utmost extreme. It's one I've contemplated for such a long time. One I thought of long before I ever wanted revenge..._

_And I still love you, so much it _kills_ me._

_Literally._

_Love,_

_Hermione_

With a gasp, a shudder, and a half-sob, Harry found Hermione lying on the floor, a pool of blood gathered around her thin body. In her hand she held a letter that Harry picked up and read. He dropped it, his voice catching, his tears flowing, realizing much too late the pain he had caused her. There was no way to rectify his mistake, he knew this, and cried aloud, dropping to his knees.

He held her frail body in his arms, her blood staining his hands and robes, face and chest. He held her and rocked, broken and sobbing loudly. And his mind went permanently blank, shutting out the truth. Slowly, he turned into himself, forgetting everything around him, and remembering only their one day of love, their moments of passion and truth.

Several hours later, Professor McGonagall ran, summoned, to the Gryffindors' Tower. A fifth year, Colin Creevey, was sitting in a corner, crying noisily and pointing at Harry and Hermione.

There sat Harry Potter, one of the greatest child-wizards of all time, babbling to the air beside him, addressing it as if it were Hermione Granger, who lay dead in his lap. He stroked her hair absently, although it was matted with blood that was drying and clotting up on his hands.

And he smiled, just once and burst into tears, mumbling, "I can't... can't smile ever again. Hermione said not to smile."

Then he went silently back into his madness, and for the rest of his days, he never spoke nor smiled again...

The end.

Review, please, and give me your thoughts and comments. Thank you.


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